Self-Portrait Study 4, in pencil

Self-Portrait Study 4, 21cm x 29cm, 8" x 11.5", 2012, Moleskine folio Sketchbook, graphite.

'Nother one. The right side, from your view, is not too bad; not sure what happened to the other half. The nose is not too bad either. Pencil work like this is so delicate. I used a 2B technical pencil. Feeling closer to approaching the painting, though, and drawing on the canvas itself (my drawing has to be a good likeness even if I obscure it with layers of paint and various scratchings). This is my 4th study, done in the 7.5" distorted magnifying mirror that I bought at the dollar store yesterday. The light is daylight. Once again, too impatient to do the hair with its curls properly, though that would increase the likelihood of a better likeness.

This self-portrait in pencil took as long as it took to drink my first mug of coffee this morning. The Italian gold French-press coffee wasn't even cold when I'd finished (I do love my coffee). I am rather pleased with the drawing, after so many attempts to learn how to draw my aging self. I mean, I may look in the bathroom mirror in the mornings for 5 minutes, washing face, brushing teeth, applying tinted moisturizer and a touch of pencil grey eyeliner and some lip gloss. Who wants to look any longer than that?

The mirror distorts the face in a different way to the camera, so neither is perfect, but I am glad I persisted with using the mirror to draw from because at least the image I look at is breathing, looking, sipping coffee, and remembering to smile!

                              

Self-Portrait Study 3, in pencil

Self-Portrait Study 3, 21cm x 29cm, 8" x 11.5", 2012, Moleskine folio Sketchbook, graphite.

Just before shop closing I got the 'bright' idea to run out and try to find a magnified 'make-up' mirror, thinking my problem is that I can't see up close without readers (which I don't wear otherwise). I found a  7.5" diagonal mirror at the dollar store for $2.99! Distorted glass? -maybe. Then, on my way out with my dog, I stopped and thought, why not just try something quickly? Ha.

An hour later. The eyes resemble mine, but a bit big. Too lazy to do all those curls, indication suffices. After staring intently at the magnified mirror, and sketching what I saw, I ended up finishing my drawing holding the Moleskine sketchbook against my chest looking into a large mirror and drawing backhand what I saw reflected!

I've certainly got my desperate and perplexed look at how difficult doing damn drawing of myself is! I have a 30" x 40" canvas ready and waiting, but am trying to learn how to draw my aging face as we get acquainted again seemingly for new (since I haven't achieved a true likeness yet - resemblance, yes, yes, but....).

Onward, fearless artist(s!... :) :)

We traverse different versions of ourselves without a quizzical blink anyhow. Other people in real life never look quite like they do in photographs, and if you stand with them looking into a mirror, it's a whole other person again. I am always amazed by this - and yet, each 'image' is recognizably 'that person.' The real life person is three-dimensional, you almost never see anyone face-on like in a photo, but rather from various angles, and they are not cropped by the frames of the photo either, but full body in an environ. I find my reading of the curves and hollows and lights and shadows of a person's face is never anything like the camera's rendition, no matter what lighting or angles it captures. Some people are photogenic and look incredible in photos, while others who are beautiful don't photograph well, but mostly everyone kind of resembles themselves. The mirror image is always mind-blowing, though who can comment coherently on it? Stand at a bathroom mirror with your lover or family member or friend and see something of what they see and you'll understand what I mean. Truly, we are mysteries, not only to ourselves, but each other.

The body is unknowable. Our art, and photographs, and mirrors only offer approximations of who we are.

                              

January

What was accomplished in January of my 2012 list:

-12 pages of my Moleskine Folio Sketchbook

-


-Tangled Garden, my longest and most ambitious videopoem to date. Tangled Garden encompasses a lifetime of reflection on Nature, natural processes, and our lives and deaths in the midst of those ongoing natural processes.



Some emails dealing with 'issues' - I retrieved a file from Podbean; successfully dealt with a nonsense Copyright Violation notice from YouTube. I wrote a review of Pierre-Marie Coedes Concerto No9; and wrote some VidPoFilm articles (though I have suspended all activity on that site until I determine how or even if I want to continue with the project).

It does not seem like much, but, in my own world, certainly a fruitful month. Traditionally February and August are my lowest months, so we'll see.

February has begun with an email to Jamendo that I hope successfully deals with a longstanding issue and which I will share soon, and some personal experiences and decisions that are very positive.