Monday, August 08, 2011

Marriage Separation Ritual




Five-pointed mandala star with inscribed symbols, 1997, found in a journal, probably watercolour pencil, markers and acrylics, though I don't know for sure, and small, 10.5cm x 16cm, 6" x 6.25"

Here is the entry that follows the image in my journal:

April 26, 1997

We legally separated on Thursday, April 24th during a "Separation Ritual" at my house with a number of friends (John, Janet, Chris, Sally, Anne, Ingrid, Theo). John and Janet, who were our witnesses at our marriage, also witnessed our separation.

It was quite lovely. We began with group drumming, as well as rattles and bells. The drumming was a means to creating a sacred space, clearing the day we'd had, getting in touch with our underlying rhythms, creating a group bond.

Then we sat in a circle and I talked about how we were commemorating the completion of a cycle and the beginning of a new one. That Brian and I had known each other since 1974, for 23 years, that we were friends long before our 3 years of living together, and our 12 years of marriage, that our relationship was not ending but only transforming as we begin a new phase.

I said that I felt that the theme we were working with was one of forgiveness and release.

And I offered Brian some gifts of the heart:
  • self-renewal
  • self-confidence
  • inner strength
  • fun money
I also said that I wished to honour each other as parents of the two beautiful children we share.

He thanked me for each gift, affirmed our need to keep things clear, and offered me some gifts:
  • self-worth
  • stability
  • success
  • integration of life and spiritual path
  • happiness

Then we signed the Separation Agreement, marking the point between our past relationship and our future one. Our witnesses signed each copy.

After we had spoken and finalized the legal agreement, each person in the circle (with one exception, a person who remained silent throughout) offered us a blessing.

Afterwards we drank wine and ate h'ordeuvres, enjoying the gathering of our gentle friends.


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1 comment:

  1. Lovely. I also have a long-term relationship that has undergone various manifestations. How wonderful to embrace the evolution.

    ReplyDelete

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