Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Her eyes are smoky, dark...

Her eyes are smoky, dark. It is as if clouds swirl over the moon. I see flashes of an unusually high intelligence, even across the train where I stand holding a pole swaying to the motions of gliding and stopping. She reaches down and slips a sheaf of papers into a large lawyer's briefcase that has wheels. Her ring finger is studded with diamonds that shimmer in the underground light. When she stands in her ruffled short black skirt and pressed white suit jacket, of a nylon and satin blend, she looks diminutive, her blonde hair tied back, perhaps sprayed into place, preparations of a night's intense research filling her mind. The sense of an obscuring moontide about her that originally drew my attention disappears. I see her pull herself straight; breathing confidence into her gait, she steps off the train on her way to a fierce day at court.


(Note: these little pieces started with qarrtsiluni's current short shorts, and then I read somewhere of an author who writes books sentence by sentence, spending sometimes an hour on each, but never revises afterwards, and I thought, one sentence a day, I can do that. They grow a little - it's fun.)

5 comments:

  1. "The sense of an obscuring moontide about her that originally drew my attention disappears..." ah, such beautiful writing Brenda. I think, in this summer heat, I need to try a few things under 100 words, or under 50...

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  2. I am struck by the same sentence and the way it pulls this together. Nicely done!

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  3. Narrator, it's a byte-sized aim; one that's been working for perhaps a week! If it grows, good. Seems to me you did a fair bit of micro fiction a few years back, before my time. You'd be amazing with it.

    MB, thanks! Glad it worked for you.

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  4. This brings back so many subway memories. The trains were among my favorite places for people-watching. Great verbal portrait.

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  5. i like being able to jump into your imagination for those brief seconds. Gives my own brain a new way to see the world.

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A Pulsing Imagination - Ray Clews' Paintings

A video of some of my late brother Ray's paintings and poems I wrote for them. Direct link: https://youtu.be/V8iZyORoU9E ___