Monday, February 27, 2006

The madwoman in the attic looking for inspiration...

Where oh where has inspiration gone? Blogging was easy the first year, lately it's been like, umm, like not being able to find your pantyhose in the morning when you have to get to work in an office you've never been in before; realizing there isn't enough coffee cream for the 2 thermos mugs you need every morning, and milk is so weak; being driven crazy by the Wal-mart clock on the wall that ticks worse than Cap'n Hook's crook because time is passing and nothing is emerging; seeing all the bright diamond glistenings in the snow when you take your dog out for a romp and knowing it's all been blogged and so have whatever photos you can think of taking; a dull kind of February silence filling the well that's frozen...

What am I thinking about? Men, confusing beautiful creatures that they are, but that's a constant, so never mind.

I wonder about evolutionary theory and the development of ethics. This topic's come at me from 3 different sources in the past few days. Something about how do you explain the development of ethic in 'natural selection.' Probably it's similar to wondering how 'mind' emerges from 'brain,' though I don't know. It's fascinating and perhaps I'll be able to work it into a prose poetry piece soon.

I wonder about the ballyhoo at the Museum of New Painting with a face-off on Saturday between the curator of the Art Gallery of Ontario, a couple of well known professors, and international artists over the "new new art." Or what I imagine is a faceoff between new media artists and old media artists, but we'll see...

I wonder about my birthday next week and why I'm here and what life means and what the future will bring, you know the score.

But mostly I wonder where inspiration is.

12 comments:

  1. Mad, and sometimes very sane, woman in the attic, you did make me giggle! I think the key to always having something to say is being willing to be with the discomfort of not knowing what to say, isn't it? - instead of shrinking from it, losing patience with yourself and closing down the computer. I note that those who can do this, as you do here, always have something to say. A lesson I need to try and learn.

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  2. Anonymous8:20 AM

    This is a response to your post below. Blogger/Google won't let me comment
    and I didn't want to lose the thought.

    Having blogged for a number of years, let me share with you that writer's
    block is more intense with bloggers because we wrote so constantly.
    Inspiration can be hard to find. It's always there.

    Inspiration is an illusive mistress, but found in the sparkle of a woman's
    eyes, the music of her laugh, the merest hint of *sparks*. (Ok, maybe a man
    in your case)
    Inspiration is easily found by the light of a fire with a balloon glass of
    red wine.
    Pour a snifter of brandy, warm it over and candle, and inspiration blossoms
    in the fumes. If that doesn't work, add a hand rolled cigar. No need to even
    smoke it. Smell the aroma and look at the craftsmanship it took to make such
    a masterpiece.
    Music, Not today music. An aria. A sonata. Gregorian chant. Visceral music
    from the roots of humanity. African drums.
    Poetry and the music of words always inspires. Force yourself to write in
    imabic pentameter and tell a short story. It sweeps away cobwebs.
    Study a sunset. Study.
    Memorize a cloud.
    Invent a new color.
    Swim naked.

    And savor the birthday approaching next week. It adds to the beauty and
    allure of the magical, mystical creature you are.

    And smile!!

    Ken

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  3. I posted this from Ken. Ken, this is so beautiful, thank you. For all your technical savvy, you have a poet's heart! Inspiration is love, that's what I've so clearly understood from your words. Loving the world, the self, each other. That is all we really have to give, but we have a multitude of ways to do it! Including through the muse...

    Who was with you when you wrote this last night,

    And I'll try out some of those suggestions! The balloon glass of wine by the fire sounds good...

    Jean, I'm glad you giggled! I didn't know what to do with those photos my daughter took, and then I knew what they were about! (Mad mommy, she knew.) Writing is facile, easy. One can go on & on. That's not the sort of writing I'd like to do, nor you I would warrant. But I'd like to get my novella finished enough to show someone else, write from the deepest places, where most vulnerable, share, oh, you know... Lately it's been bits of flotsam, and maybe that's what I have to explore, the fragments of our lives... I think it's also discovering where to go next. Elegant writer that you are, thank you for your encouragement...

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  4. Oh, but you need the bits of flotsam, as well as the stuff trawled up from the floor of your heart's ocean; the funny and inconsequential and immediuately recongnisable, as well as the thoughtful and lyrical and also immediately recognisable - it's simple but not always facile, what makes writing live, what makes it resonate!

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  5. Your blog is very interesting. You write a sort of prose poetry - that is very nice.
    Good luck with your artistic endeavors. You obviously have a talent.

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  6. I'm laughing at your/Kyra's "madwoman" photos.

    Facing that "blank page" every morning to write poetry is a challenge I undertook to try to better understand my process of writing and of inspiration. And you know what I have learned so far? Once again, for me, it has a lot to do with love. The willingness to explore with curiousity and love, to bear witness with love, to love where and who I am at the moment and what/whoever I am with.

    I'm beginning to sound like a loop, but I swear it's true.

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  7. Jean, yes, oh yes, but I wonder what it is when it's not flowing as it usually does, in abundance, needing much pruning? Instead much more sparsely growing and needing to be filled out, only that's part of the flow that's not there. Lulls, surely. I wait them out, even if sometimes impatiently. Your writing encompassing so seemingly easily what mine is faltering on at present, that whole scope. I'm enjoying the literary quality of your comments, in other words!

    Richard, welcome to Rubies in Crystal, the name a sort of oblique reference to Sufi poetry & beliefs. Thank you for the compliment in your comment, I let it breathe fresh air into me today...

    MB, the "madwoman" photos are a riot, no? I don't know if that's what she intended, but when we put them up on the computer we had such a good laugh over them. Now I must ask you to be more detailed about love, more specific. What is love? Exactly? Well, that's impossible, but the sense of love, feeling love has so many different forms & tones, I wonder if we can find metaphors to express what this quality of love is that we value so highly? I agree with you wholeheartedly...

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  8. What IS it? Oh. Well, yes, I suppose that's a reasonable question. But hmm, how to put into words. It is acceptance, regard, caring, admiration, nurturing, respect, desire to see flourish, desire to be in contact with or in company of, desire itself, excitement, concern... yipes, depending on the moment, on the subject, on the need... it can take many forms. I think the one I think of most, however, is the desire to see something or someone else blossom at their most beautiful. Which is rewarding on both ends, you see, grants independence as well as enjoyment. What do YOU think it is?

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  9. We could have talked here endlessly, but I started a new post...

    Yes, MB, the desire for the other to blossom, I agree that this is pure, selfless love.

    And Ken, oh, how beautiful...

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  10. Oh no, it's not selfless at all! Like most rich things in life, it is and isn't... Because, of course, if the other is blossoming beautifully, I benefit immensely, yes? The art of relationship is to negotiate the balance, to find the fulcrum between one's own blossoming and that of the other.

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  11. Ah, MB, perhaps between women, or an extraordinary man. In my life all too often all our energy went into his work, his depressions, his memories, his fears... and I've never found a good balance, or that fulcrum you speak of. It remains an elusive holy grail.

    That's why I prefer distance relationships, in whatever varying forms those can take in terms of time or space, because I don't give myself away completely as I would in a 24/7. Because then there is still time and space for me.

    What is that? Is it a mostly womanly problem, or is it just that certain types of people attract certain other types, as in opposites?

    An unanswerable question that I've spent my life trying to answer.

    Sometimes I wonder if it would be different between two women. But, then, my sexual orientation is hetero, so I guess I'll never know that either.

    I am going on arent' I?

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  12. Well, it's true that I would only ever be interested in an extraordinary man! So there you have it! ;-)

    I don't think it's a womanly problem; I think it's a human problem. However, women, because of traditional roles, may be more susceptible.

    But when all energy goes into one too often, that's not balance, clearly. The balance, or fulcrum, gets back to my previous discussion of balance being a constant back and forth, not stasis. Give and take. One must give to receive; one must receive to give.

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A Pulsing Imagination - Ray Clews' Paintings

A video of some of my late brother Ray's paintings and poems I wrote for them. Direct link: https://youtu.be/V8iZyORoU9E ___